"I'm gaining weight" - Kim, There's People That Are Dying

I’m 25 and I swear I’ve been about 1789000 different weights in my adult life. Weight fluctuation is basically my part-time job. I’ve learned to accept that sometimes I’m thic and other times I’m thiccccccc. It is what it is.

I’ve been on a weight loss journey since 2018 and I developed a steady workout routine. I was on it! I was toning up, had a little .75 pack coming through. And then there was the Rona. Quarantine has us all stuck in the house and my workout routine has come to a halt. Gyms are not essential businesses, so we’re left to workout outside or in our homes. I’ve tried the home workout thing and honestly...I’d have a better time pulling out each of my eyelashes. You know what else I don’t love? Exercising outside. I tried to feel the wind in my hair (or wig, depends on the day), but my spirit wasn’t feeling it. So where does this leave us? Girl, I don’t even know.

I’m gonna keep trying to stay active but I had to ask myself why I wanted to work out? Was it because I wanted to stay healthy, or was it because of my physical appearance? Sometimes you have to be real with yourself. I think most of my obsession with working out wasn’t for the sake of my cardiovascular health or general well being. I didn’t want to gain weight because I was afraid of how I would look in the eyes of others.

*insert excerpt about patriarchy being the cause of women’s issues with self-image here*

I’m not here to to downplay the importance of exercise. I think we all know that physical activity is important. I also know that it’s unhealthy to think about my body as much as I do. I wish that body acceptance was something that I could purchase online (amazon prime, next day shipping obvi), but unfortunately that isn’t the case.

I’ve been seeing a lot of articles and social media posts about accepting quarantine weight gain. After reading through these posts and self-reflecting, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with gaining weight. Especially during a global pandemic. Having access to food is a privilege during this time. Millions of people are unemployed, concerned for their futures, and I’m worried about weight gain? Sometimes I make myself sick with my own superficiality.

I’m a fashion and lifestyle content creator who loves to look nice, but I can do so at any weight. I’m going to have to reread this post multiple times for my own mental health, but I think that I’m one step closer to fully accepting my body.

It’s important for us to take action in order to create a better future for those coming after us. Patriarchy can’t win guys - it’s been winning for too long. Love yourself and take care of yourself. Go for a run if you want, eat a sleeve of Oreos, or do both! Do whatever you want! But what’s important - that you do it for you and no one else.

Lastly,

Being 200+ pounds never stopped my DMs from filling up, so trust me, you have nothing to worry about.

Footnotes:

Girl = Gender Neutral

This photo was taken last summer. Was I heavier? Yes? Was I happy? Absolutely. I plan to be just as happy this summer. Don't let quarantine weight gain worries ruin yours.

xxxx

-Char